Office Rivalries

This one has no real development point.  But it reminds me of a good story.  Before I get into it, I want to put something on the record: I am not an Alabama fan nor am I an Auburn fan.

On my second deployment, I was in charge of a movement cell, among other things. We had a 88M Specialist who was an annoyingly outspoken Michigan fan.  It was to the point where it was annoying me on a daily basis.

But he had good rights to brag.  Michigan was in the Top Ten in the pre-season polls, and they were looking really, really strong.  Lots of writers were picking them for a BCS game, if not the National Championship.  So we had to hear it a lot.

They were coming up on a game vs Appalachian State.  Most of you know where I am going now.  He was supremely confident that it was a warm up game, and did not even talk about that, skipping to next week's games.

And, in one of the most glorious games of all times, App State beat the wolverines. So, my troops and myself decided to do some interior decorating.

We stole every copy of Stars and Stripes we could get and wallpapered the back page (full page spread of the game) around the entire movement control office.

Best. Game. Ever.

Army Times: Worthless? (Hint: Yes)

I was once had the great honor of being forced to attend a brief given by the Sergeant Major of the Army, Raymond Chandler. He was on a whirlwind tour of Kuwait, and our Battalion was one of the stops. I can’t count the number of distinguished visitors we had, but SMA Chandler stuck out for a few reasons.  You often see generals and politicians, but you don’t often see THE Sergeant Major of the Army.

He talked about lots of things; deployment cycles, uniform changes, SHARP, ect.  Then he did a Q&A session.  His visit occurred about the same time the Army was considering changing the PT test or adding a combat skills type PT test, so you know that some kid was going to ask about it.

“Sergeant Major, when are we going to see the new PT test?”

You could see the life drain out of the SMA’s eyes.  He gave exactly no f*cks, and this is the one question he get's asked every time. But you can’t tell some kid to shut up when you are the SMA. He gave the canned response, but then got into the Army Times.

Now, I am paraphrasing here, but he said something like this:

“There is a reason that the Army Times is wrapped in plastic at the checkout counter. It has absolutely no content and if you were given the opportunity to really think about the purchase or to read it before buying, they would go out of business”

Is he right? Let’s take a look.

                                          The Army Times in its Ignorance Condom

Anyone who buys a coffee, tobacco or electric piss water (advertised as Monster) before they start their day is forced to contend with the Army Times staring them right in the face.  Since that guy in front of you just has to have that one weird can of dip that only the other cashier has, you will look at it in your boredom. 

Garnett (company that publishes all the military times papers) is not stupid.  They know their place.  So they design their cover to maximize the 3-5 seconds that you may actually be looking at it.   

They want to grab or shock you.  In order for you to buy it, they know that you have to be worried and outraged by something, or that something has to have a very personal interest to you.  They can’t just trigger your curiosity like Time or a normal newspaper.  You have to be actively engaged to buy the Army Times.  So how do they do this?

                                               The Hero sacrifices himself to save you from the big, bad Army!

The main article is something that is always either very controversial or indicates major change in the force.  This week’s issue deals with the recent change to AR 670-1, specifically about the tattoo policy.  Now, I have no particular beef with the policy, but I do not necessarily think it was the right way to go about business.  I even helped draft an AR change memo for one of my NCO’s who wants to be a WO, but has sleeve tattoos.

The title on the cover is inflammatory to say the least.  It grabs you and attempts to offend you.  But not directly, it wants you to feel like you should be offended because the big bad Army is oppressing you.  Woe is you, the honest Soldier. 

This equation is repeated almost every week with a slightly different topic.  Toxic leaders, the threats to your paycheck, 39 ways Obama is ruining the military, the newest patch chart, the new PT test, all framed in the most “they are out to get you, and we are the only one’s that will tell/help you” way possible. 

                              A threat coupled with a bad Seinfeld joke

Sometimes, even the side articles get into it.  Just look at the “new rules for NCO’s” portion.  Instead of saying “who is in and who is out”, you could have just said “What are the qualifications”.  But by saying “who is in and who is out”, they threaten the reader.  You might be out, so you better buy this and see.The iPod article is worse.  Though it may suck not to be able to wear it while running, the statement is very divisive.  It is like one big “Why won’t the Big Bad Army let you do what you want to do?”

Once you actually start reading these articles, you see they have very little or no substance. The information can usually be learned by keeping a weather eye on the MILPER messages (where you can see it in more detail and better accuracy),  or the information has already been out for some time in the mainstream media. 

Who covered it better.

All of this overshadows the real tragedy of the Army times, in that they have good writers.  That may seem strange to hear, but if you read the stories that are not represented on the front page, they are usually pretty high quality.  They have informative articles written in an accessible way that are relevant to your service, even if it is not a pressing subject.

They go further in depth to military subjects that effect most Soldiers than almost any news source do, save for the Stars and Stripes.  But when you buy it (and you will break down from time to time and buy it), it is not for those articles.  You are outraged by what is on the cover or they claim to have unique, important and time sensitive information that you need to know.  You buy it for that.  And you are always disappointed.  It becomes hard to even justify paying attention to the rest of the paper at that point, and it gets tossed aside; relegated to the company ops room or the trash bin (recycle if you are on Fort Hood).

This pandering to the lowest denominator is causing me (and others) to disrespect the paper.  I dump it in the same category as the National Enquirer or Star.  Just another gossip magazine that does not care about accuracy or legitimate journalism.

But then, after picking up a cup of coffee, I see it.

“Officer Separation Boards- Who are they going after and what do you need to do?”

“… I had better get that.” My ID-10T side says.

And I do.  Then I open it up.

Great.  It says exactly what the MILPER said.  I just got tricked out of four bucks. Maybe someday I will learn. I am going to go perform some ID-10T maintenance.

Incoming Personnel

My first unit, I was the only LT in the Brigade, much less the Battalion or Company.  It was weird. You kind of think that you will be able to depend on the experience and abilities of senior LT's to learn the ropes and how to act as a LT.  Not only that, due to the nature of leadership, you hope to have more LT's around so that you can have friends.

That sounds sad.

But it is the truth in a way.  When you are in a leadership position, you can't draw your friends from just any group.  It goes without saying that you should not be hanging out with privates on your off time, but you end up even having sort of a rift with senior NCO's as well, as you are at different stages of your lives.  Your commander does not want to be friends with you, especially because they have to deal with you as a leader themselves.

So, being the only LT in the Brigade, I looked forward to the reception of any other LT.  Even when I was a Commander and there were plenty of LT's in the Brigade, I always noticed that my LT's were excited to meet the newest addition to the "LT Mafia" (kind of like a Specialist Mafia, but not nearly as dastardly).

But I suppose this happens at all levels and ranks.  Eager to meet the new guy and start the team acceptance process.

How to LT- Counseling and the Magic Bullet

It always seems like no one really knows how to conduct a counseling.

It really does not matter what rank you are.  Effective counseling is simply not done in today's Army.  I can't figure out what the reason is.  And I am not innocent in this either.  

But seeing that counseling is so critical to success, we all need to get better at it.  It cant be that the only time we counsel our subordinates is when they get in trouble or they don't meet our expectations.  That sends a strong message.  It tells our subordinates that, "I don't care to tell you how to get better, but I will tell you when you cross the line that I didn't set in the first place".

Enough with the soap box.  Let's talk about the Magic Bullet.

It is funny, because it seems like some sort of code or secret that we have to use it.  You had better have it ready to go for any derogatory counseling or, well, or else!!! Fail to have it on a counseling and some lawyer somewhere will throw your requested action out the door.  But I have never had anyone ask me the question why.  Why do we have the magic bullet?

It is lazy thinking, really, that leads to this.  It is understandable.  Our profession is a profession of checklists and making it happen.  We get used to not having the time to think our actions through for low-level actions like derogatory counselings.  Think and act fast, that is what we do. Especially because going over the contents of the Magic Bullet every time would be tiresome.

But it really is one of those times when you need to stop and think about why you put it on derogatory counselings.  That is why, in the video, I suggest writing it out as the AR requires at least once.  Doing is learning.

And not knowing can only hurt you in the end.

How to LT- The NCOER Counseling and Support Form

So I, like many officers and NCO's, did not even realize this form existed until I was a 1LT.  In fact, some still do not realize it exists. It is a requirement, just like the OER Support form, but it is just so rarely used.  And it is a shame, really, because it is one of the most useful forms I have ever found.

How is this?  Well, I am glad you asked!

This is the best way for you and your NCO to come to an understanding on how they will be able not only meet your expectations, but what they can do to guarantee that their eval will look great.  This may seem odd, but just by supplying some ways that you think would result in an excellent block, they will want to do better.  Even if they don't agree, or don't particularly like you.

The reason here is two fold: First, by setting specific standards up front, they can focus their efforts and get what they think needs to be done, well, done.  Second, by laying out the standards (again, regardless if they agree), you will be showing the NCO that, yes, you give a sh*t and you will be paying attention.  If they don't get that idea during the initial counseling, they will certainly understand it by the end of the first quarterly.

                                                              MY LT GAVE ME A QUARTERLY COUNSELING?!?!?!?

The first time I used the form was on a Platoon SGT.  He and I did not get along that well.  And for the first quarter of our time together, he did not really listen to me or follow what it said.  Fine, I said, no problem.  We will see where this goes.

So, quarterly came around and I put what I thought on there.  His exasperation was noticeable. There was a minor screaming match, and much disagreement.  But the next day, he came in and had a talk with me first thing in the morning.  Not only was the NCO different from then on (we still did not really get along, but our work relationship was flawless), but his performance was all around better.

When it came time to write his NCOER, it was easy.  I just took the facts from the form and wrote them down bullet style.  I continue to use this form today.  In fact, during my first command, the form helped me to fire a pretty awful 1SG.

But that is a story for another time.  By the way, I meant to publish a video on how to counsel generally, plus some tips and tricks, but my Illustrations did not come back in time.  I will hit that up next week.  I hope you enjoyed last week's comic, I will publish another one this week.

Latah!

The Chief

Warrant officers are... a unique bunch.

I can say without a doubt that without their talent and drive, I would not have succeeded in my career so far.  Every unit in my field depends heavy upon their knowledge and talents.  And I have been lucky to have some great Warrants so far.

However, they are an interesting bunch.  It will seem like you are handling a prima donna sometimes.

Obviously, they have quite a bit of enlisted experience.  You don't just become a warrant straight off the street (unless you are a pilot).  So by the time they get to your organization, they have already been in the Army for a while.  Sometimes, they have been in for 10-15 years.  At that point, the need to advance in rank in order to attain retirement is secondary to doing a good job (which, really, everyone should be focused on anyway).  But the retirement incentive discussion is not the topic here.

They are usually unabashed in their opinions and conduct.  Combine this with their skill and knowledge, and they almost automatically become a superstar.

But they are usually untapped as a development resource.  Quite often, I have received more professional development from my subordinate Warrants than I did from my direct supervisors. That may sound bad, but it is not due to the quality of my supervisors, but the nature of the supervisor position in the Commissioned Officer realm.  They have many more issues, problems and tasks at hand to deal with than the Warrants do (at least superficially).  

I would also venture to say that because Warrants do not have the command relationship nor are they as restrained from having a truly open dialog with their officers, so they can talk much more freely. When time comes to say, "You are screwing up, here is why, and here is how you can fix it", the officer is more likely to listen than not.  On top of that, they have no reason not to hear someone out, so they are more likely to sit down and have a discussion with a junior officer.

So, take this advice.  Listen to your warrants if you have them.  Learn from them.  Not only on the technical aspects, but the everyday operational aspects.  They will be your greatest ally, if you let them.

How to LT- DA 4856

So it took me a while to learn how to properly use the DA 4856.  But I can clearly remember the very first time I used it.

I was a Cadet (MS III) and I was doing weekend drills with a Reserve unit in Texas.  I had previously been a private, so the transition to drilling cadet was kind of jarring.  Not many people paid any attention to me.  I am sure that this is quite normal, as one day everyone had authority over me, and the next they had no regulatory authority over me, if not me having a small modicum of authority over them.

When I asked the Commander and XO what I should be doing and how I should function in the unit this is what they said:

Commander- Think of yourself as a Third Lieutenant

XO- A really, really week Third Lieutenant

And that was all they said

So, with no instruction, I just naturally assumed that I should go back to my old Platoon.  I talked to my Platoon SGT, who basically just said, "I really don't know what to do with you".  Seems to be a trend.

So I basically acted like I was still a Private.  I had no experience on how to be a PL because, well, I never had one.  On top of that, I was not deep enough in ROTC to know what the hell a PL does.  But now, because of the dot on my collar, the NCO's no longer felt comfortable giving me orders (understandably) and did not know how to incorporate me into what work needed to be done.  I ended up doing manual labor when I could, but otherwise just sitting around a lot.  When I could, I used the time to study for school or catch up on reading.  

So the third or fourth drill I did as a Cadet, we did an SRP (Soldier Readiness Processing) Rodeo.  It was being organized by a particularly annoying 42A Specialist.  No one liked this kid (and for good reason).  But you have to give the guy credit, he was a hell of a 42A.  I worked the dental/medical station with a PA who traveled down for the drill, and I was reviewing paperwork. This SRP went absolutely great.  Everything got done to standard very quickly.  We were actually able to let out early because of it.

So, I thought the kid could use a good counseling.  I wrote it up and asked the XO if it was appropriate to give it to him and put it in his counseling packet.  She said that I could.  So I asked him to come to the 1SG office where I had typed the counseling statement up (on a typewriter of all things).  I sat him down and counseled him on his good conduct.

He laughed in my face.  Yes.  The Guy was a jerk.  Thought it was stupid (and it kind of was, I mean, getting a positive counseling from a reserve cadet? Weird at best).  To date, that is the only positive counseling I have given.  Not because it was a bad experience, but because they generally seem useless.

But I did it.  And I laugh a little each time I think of it.

How to LT- Your NCOIC

I was in a pretty unique position once I deployed to Iraq for my first rotation.  I had spend about a month and a half doing train-up of pre-deployment tasks, so I was not doing any real work. Once I hit the ground, there was not really a platoon or a shop to lead.

The S-4 for the Battalion was split between two locations, but they already had an officer.  I did not have any training or ability to be an S-1 or an S-2 (though, that would have been unnecessary).  It seemed like I came forward for almost no reason.

So, I was made to be the camp mayor.  Well, that was the title anyway.  The person who did all the real work was a SFC.  He was awesome.  He helped to teach me quite a bit.  But he really did not let me lead much.  We did discuss this, and he admitted to it as well.  He was that hard charging NCO who had already been doing the job for a while, so I was not really adding to the ability of the shop much.

About two and a half month's in, the company XO was sent back so that he could PCS to the career course.  So, the Commander brought me in as his XO for the forward unit.  So I was once again without an NCOIC.  But, as the XO, I was off and learning how to organize the redeployment.  But that is a tale for another time

                           Focus, we are talking about NCOIC's

Anyways, after we re-deployed, I took over a mixed platoon (we had 4 shops/MOS's) and got to work figuring out what is what.  We had just received a new SFC, and he was made my PSG.  At first glance, he was a great guy.  He smiled a lot, he knew his core job and the Soldiers seemed to like him.  It did not take long to turn sour.

He was the type of NCO that not only did not like to share things, but actively avoided work.  For him, it was whatever would keep the 1SG out of his face for the next 24 hours.  No respect for planning, no troops to task, no maintenance program, nothing.  No matter how hard I pushed and tried to make us work like a team and get things done, I was constantly met with resistance.

To my credit, I had started out right and was giving him constant counselings.  But, I did not do it exactly right, I did not outline our roles and responsibilities.  In the end it was enough that, though I could not get him replaced, I was able to easily justify a less than stellar NCOER.

During the next deployment, I once again acted as the XO, but because my Commander was doing some advising on another base, I was the commander at the base as it were.

So as soon as we got back, I got a hold of another Platoon (I should say now that my unit's deployments were very short, usually no more than 6 months).  I was in charge of another mixed shop (three MOS's and shops).  My new PSG was good.  A bit of an A-hole, but he kept me in the loop and got the job done.  We worked together, and we had the defined roles as I laid out in the video.  Things worked very well for us.  We did not get along very well on a personal level, but our Platoon was outstanding.  I can confidently say that we had the best ran platoon in the company.   

By the way, I would like to apologize for the sound quality this week.  I recorded the entire thing forgetting that my microphone gain was almost all the way down. Recording is the hardest part of this whole thing, and I did not realize it until I had cut and finished the video.  I will get right next week, but there is beer to drink and Schnitzel to be had today.

Til next time!